Recently, I've really gotten into John Mayer's music. He asks a very simple question regarding what he calls a "verdictless life." He asks the question, "Am I living it right?" What a pertinent, convicting question it is. So many times in my life, I find myself wondering the same thing.
Am I doing everything I want? Is my life everything I want it to be? Obviously, without the benefit of a final "verdict," it's very much an open ended question. I am consistently posed with the dilemma of second guessing decisions, and not because I don't trust my decision making ability, but because of the fact that every decision I make carries the weight of a consequence. Often times, the decisions I make come with necessary sacrifices, and contemplating what those sacrifices are has become a large part of my life lately. I find myself questioning even the simplest of decisions. A trip to Whataburger becomes an inward discussion on the ramifications of my decision, a debate carried by different voices I have picked up over my first 18 years and change. Healthy says to Self-Indulgence, "Check the nutrition facts next time," while Self-Indulgence snipes back with vulgar that's unmatched in a Sacha Baron Cohen movie. Elementary examples aside, I have always come out of my thinking with a greater understanding of the reasoning behind my decision. And that's something that has helped me see that I'm living it right.
Reflection should be a large part of our lives. Questioning what has been done only yields greater understanding of perhaps the most fundamental question we can ask: "Why?"
Without a final verdict, which none of us will ever receive until we reach the gates of Heaven, we must remain in a constant mode of questioning. Not for the sake of self-doubt, but for the sake of self-righteousness that comes with knowing the answer to one of life's greatest mysteries.
Am I living it right?
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